BEING PARENTS IS LIKE OWNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS

Before you start a family you need to sit down with your significant other and plan your "business". This is one situation where you need two presidents, not a president and a vice president. If you can sit down before you start your family and decide what both your goals and strategies are before you get started, it will be a whole lot easier on everyone. The biggest mistake you can make is to wait until a situation is at hand, and both parents are not in agreement. A child can spot that immediately, and play one parent against the other. (it worked really well for my kids) Have some ground rules in place before you have to start disciplining your children, and then if something comes up that you hadn't planned on, have a meeting and decide what you want to do TOGETHER as a TEAM. Your children must understand that you make all of your decisions together, and that they cannot go back and forth until they get the answer that they want. I will give you an example on why you need teamwork. My husband asked my son to take out the garbage. He answered "In a minute, wait until I die!" He was playing a video game and didn't want to lose what he had been doing for the past hour. My husband tells him that he wants him to do it NOW, and when my son keeps on playing, my husband loses his patience and tells him he is grounded. When my son replies that he is almost done, he is then grounded for one week, then two weeks, and then it becomes a month! You must never discipline your child in anger or frustration, because then your rules become unfair and meaningless. When you have a situation like this, step back and think about what you want to do before you speak. Of course, I was not about to have my son be grounded for a week because of that, so both of us are in a compromised situation. This forms a very weak link in our parenting, and so it goes on and on. Take it from me, even if you have to hold off on the punishment, it is worth it. Go in a room when you are cooled off, and talk together about what is a fair punishment. On the other hand, my husband would say the same thing to my daughter. He would ask her to take out the garbage. She would reply "OK!" and then never do it. My son would be grounded even though he eventually took out the garbage, and my daughter would never take out the garbage, and have no punishment because she responded positively . If you want your family to be successful and happy, please be a team player. I can tell the difference even in my own brother's and sister's families. The ones who parent together have happy, respectful children. They feel secure in knowing that their parents work as a team, and not against each other. Believe me, it really does work!