NEVER say MAYBE

I have to say that one of my biggest mistakes was saying NO too quickly, or using the worst five letter word in the English language, MAYBE. I have to say right off the bat that when your child asks you a question, they know exactly when to catch you off guard. You may be on the phone with your mother, or talking to the crossing guard outside. Their trick is to ask when you are not really paying attention and then they attack. Don't ever say NO right away, or MAYBE just to shut them up. Tell them you will think about it in a while and will give them your decision when you have made up your mind. I would say no right away, mostly because it was usually something I didn't want them to do.  But sometimes I wasn't paying attention because I was concentrating on what my mother was saying on the phone, or was involved deeply in my soap opera. Once you say no, I must tell you that the answer must remain no. Under no circumstances can you take back that two letter word. I am really not kidding. Start when your child first understands the word no. Trust me when I tell you that they understand alot earlier than I ever expected. When your young child grabs for the remote control, say no and mean it. Don't feel bad that you said no, and think how cute they look and how funny it is when they change the channels faster than your husband. You are setting the groundwork for later on in life. When that cute little baby becomes a teenager and asks for your car keys and you say no, he is going to know that you do mean no. He won't be able to bat his eyes at you and make that cute little face and change your mind. No means no. Obviously I did not practice what I am preaching now, and I made so much trouble for myself and my kids. I said no, then after lot of crying would break down and say yes. If I said maybe, they always knew they were closer to yes than if I just said no. It was a losing battle. Once you change that first no, there is no going back. My oldest son was one child that really didn't recognize no as part of the English language. One day when he was ten years old he asked me if he could go to his friends house. I said no, because I was going out and I wanted him to stay home. He was relentless and was still begging me as I was walking out of the house and getting in the car with my mother. He continued while I was warming up the car, and when I gave him a firm NO, he jumped on the hood of my car and pressed his face against the windshield pleading with me to let him go. I think that my children did not think I could ever say no. On the other hand, it seemed my youngest brother had learned from my mistakes. (at least I am hoping something good came out of my bad parenting) His young son came up to him and asked him if he could have an ice cream. My brother told him it was too close to dinner, so the answer was no. Do you know what my nephew did? He said OK, and ran off playing as happy as could be. He knew that no meant no, and that all the pleading in the world was not going to change his father's mind. I admire my brother for standing his ground through his parenting career, and I am taking full credit for his success.